Ruth’s story: How support helped her rebuild her life

Some say life starts at 40, and that couldn't be more true for Ruth, who moved into Lifeways' Brunswick Gardens Mental Health Service in Newcastle in late 2024. 

After a difficult upbringing in Essex, a series of physical and mental health diagnoses that made life challenging, and years spent moving between hospitals and eating disorder units, Ruth has finally been able to embrace a happier and more stable and independent life. 

Supported by a dedicated team at Brunswick Gardens and a close-knit community of friends she has built since moving in, Ruth has gained the confidence to share her "rollercoaster ride" of a story in the hope it helps others facing similar challenges. 

Please note: This account contains references to mental health difficulties and self-harm, which some readers may find distressing. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed, struggling with your mental health, or having thoughts of suicide, you are not alone. Please consider speaking to someone: 

• Samaritans: Call 116 123 (free, 24/7) or visit samaritans.org 

• Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential support 24/7 

• Mind: Visit mind.org.uk or call 0300 123 3393 

• Papyrus (for under 35s): Call 0800 068 4141 or text 07860 039967 

Please take care while reading. 

A lifetime of challenges 

Ruth's challenges began at the age of two when she was diagnosed with dyspraxia. The condition affected her speech development and created difficulties that followed her into later life. 

As she grew up, Ruth, experienced a number of traumatic events, including relentless bullying at school and later being assaulted. At just eight years old, she began self-harming by hitting her head against a wall, a behaviour she believes she learned from a family member. 

"I got bullied at school from the moment I went. I never really had any friends, and I never really fitted in," Ruth said. 

The emotional pain she carried eventually developed into an eating disorder. Desperate to cope with what she was going through, Ruth began over-exercising, restricting what she ate and making herself sick. 

"I did everything to try and avoid dealing with the hurt and pain I was feeling at the time," she added. 

"All this developed into me wanting to control my food and control my weight because I had lost control in life." 

By her teenage years, Ruth's eating disorder had taken a devastating toll on her body. 

At the age of 16, after surviving for a month without eating, she collapsed and was rushed to hospital by ambulance. The damage caused by her illness was so severe that doctors gave her just two weeks to live. 

"I was never meant to live to 40 years old. My mum always calls me a miracle on legs." 

Ruth continued: "Even when I didn't die at 16, all the doctors told me I wouldn't make it to 21. But I proved them wrong and defied the odds." 

Searching for an escape 

After years of trauma and struggling with her mental health, Ruth eventually turned to alcohol as a way of coping with the pain she carried. 

While moving between hospitals and eating disorder units, she regularly found ways to sneak alcohol in, using it to numb difficult memories and emotions that she felt unable to face. 

At the same time, her diet suffered badly. Some days, she survived on little more than a couple of chocolate bars and a few packets of crisps. 

"I was living in a complete pigsty with wrappers all over the place because I just didn't want to be there," Ruth said. 

"I was so numb I didn't have a shower for three months." 

As her physical health deteriorated, so did her quality of life. The combination of an eating disorder, alcohol misuse and poor mental health left her trapped in a cycle that seemed impossible to escape. 

At the age of 30, Ruth suffered a bowel prolapse and had to undergo surgery to have a stoma fitted. She is still unsure what caused the condition. 

"I was in agony. I shouldn't really have lived past that either," she added. 

A fresh start 

Ruth's life has finally taken a positive turn. 

Since moving into Lifeways' Brunswick Gardens Mental Health Service, she has continued her recovery from an eating disorder and has been supported to build a healthier relationship with food, develop greater independence and improve her overall wellbeing. 

"Since moving to Brunswick Gardens, life has gotten better. I'm actually trying to lose weight sensibly, with the support of the Lifeways staff. 

"If I feel like I'm going to slip into old habits, I can let the team know and I know they'll support me as much as they can. 

"I'm also supported to be independent, which is really helpful, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. 

"On the whole, it's been a great move." 

The personalised support Ruth receives has also helped her develop communication skills following diagnoses of autism and ADHD. 

For the first time in her life, she has built a close group of friends with other people supported at the service. Together, they have attended Lifeways' Our Voice workshops across the country, helping shape services by sharing feedback and lived experiences. 

Recently, Ruth has also started creating her own artwork featuring inspirational messages such as “small changes make a huge difference” and “be brave, you never know what you’re gonna achieve”.  

The artwork has become a source of comfort and self-expression and is proudly displayed throughout Brunswick Gardens as a reminder of the progress she has made. 

‘Anything is possible’ 

Reflecting on her journey, Ruth praised the support she has received from the team at Brunswick Gardens. 

“Anything is possible, no matter what your past was, no matter where you are mentally - everything is possible when you have the right support to carry on. 

“I’ve been at Brunswick Gardens for a year and three months, and life is looking up. If I didn’t find Lifeways, goodness knows what would have happened. 

“If people haven’t treated you very nicely, I’ve had a lot of that in the past. I’ve been bullied, but I’ve got four good friends here who genuinely care about me. It is possible to move past your past.”